It’s Not Rocket Science

When an item’s only purpose is purely functional, you would think that its function would be uppermost in the mind of its designer. You would think. However, thinking obviously had no part in this particular objects design or manufacture.

So, is this the worst designed object of the last decade? No, not Mr Monkey, the blue coin. Let’s consider this objects function. It is a parking token for the Clifton Down Shopping Centre car park, brought in to replace paper tickets and thus save on paper and be more considerate to the environment, a very laudable and reasonable initiative.

Now let us consider the token’s design. The token is a very light weight plastic, about the same size as a two pence piece, round and blue in colour, as you can see here with the assistance of Mr Monkey.

Thank you Mr Monkey, nicely done. Small and light weight, therefore easy to drop or let slip from the hand and not easy to hold and drive at the same time but difficult to put down in the car without losing it; round so that it will roll away if you do put it down or drop it; dark in colour so it would be hard to see under a car seat or anywhere else for that matter; and it has no time of arrival printed on it. In the interests of the environment I will forgo the printed time of arrival and accept that a plastic token will in time save on paper. However, would it have been so difficult for the token to be the size and shape of a credit card, slightly heavier and much brighter in colour? Even the token pictured on the pay machine is a bright gold.

Now when you consider the fact that if you lose the token, highly likely given its design, you have to pay £5 to replace it to enable you to leave the car park, the thought crosses your mind, well it crosses mine, that rather than it being badly designed, the token has been very cleverly designed but not for the convenience of the individual who has to use it. Instead it has been deliberately made to be lost and so generate extra revenue for the owners of the car park, who may or may not be willing participants in this scheme. A passing thought you understand, I wouldn't dream of casting such aspersions.

It’s a small thing I know and I really shouldn’t let things like this get to me but I use this car park quite frequently and therefore have to use this stupid token a lot. It’s a really badly designed car park too, for instance, the lifts don’t go to all the floors. What’s that’s about?

As a child I used to believe that mankind was always pushing forward and progressing, with each problem that life throws up being tackled and eliminated for the betterment of all. I’m sure I got that from watching Tomorrows World, one of my favourite programmes right up until my 30’s. Then they brought Peter Snow in to present it and it went downhill, fast, followed closely by my illusion that life was being made better for us all. It seems that the little things that could improve all our lives are being sacrificed by the grasping and greedy for their own ends. A not for profit lottery where all the money goes to charity? No, the man has to have his cut. A cheap and user friendly public transport system? No, we’ll just make using your car more difficult. A radio station that plays real music presented by DJs who know what they’re talking about and who don’t witter on endlessly about celebrity non-entities and reality TV? No, you can’t have that, listen to Chris Moyles instead.

I am grateful that I live in relative comfort and always have something to eat, in a land where if I have a numb toe I can be treated for it, where there aren’t armies with machetes running around killing everyone, where I can vote for a government every few years without being shot at or intimidated or have the result questioned and generally be safe and secure most of the time. I know all that and yet, and yet...that bloody stupid token drives me mad!

Suggested listening: “Nevermind” by Nirvana